Okay, so this is my first book review! I have been recommending this book to all my clients as I’m on my journey to become a AASECT certified Sex Therapist and I find myself doing a ton of reading and I had seen this book mentioned quite a few times so I dove right in. The book explores the origins of the concept of monogamy and how it impacts our current relationships.
You’d think this book would read like a text book but it doesn’t, now granted I heard it via audible and I found it super informative and interesting. Many of my clients have been hearing me share little tidbits like:
“We’re one of the few mammals that hide our ovulation!”
“We don’t need titties!”
“Bonobos are goals”
And my favorite
“Agriculture ruined everything.”
As I read this book, I came to the conclusion (which may or may not be original) that monogamy, like sexual preference, may lie on a spectrum, from people who are absolutely 100% monogamous and those who believe sharing is caring. I learned about the impact that agriculture and colonialism changed how we relate to one another romantically. The book also does a great job of challenging past research that linked our 'inherent' bad human traits just to chimps without examine our close relatives the bonobos who are a lot more peaceful and accepting than our Chimpy ancestors. Maybe we aren't inherently violent and selfish, maybe we are also inherently giving and accepting as well?
Whether you're a clinician or a client or neither, this book was fun even if you aren’t about to open up your relationship and be like our bonobo ancestors.
I give this book 10/10 shawls.
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